Finding your way around the steakhouse
By Jeffrey Carl
Terms To Know
Dead cow material isn’t as simple as you would think. If you want to know your way around any steakhouse that doesn’t accept food stamps, you should probably be familiar with the following terms and concepts:
- Angus Beef – Angus cattle are originally from Scotland, and were introduced to the United States in 1873. They are known for their high marbling content, making them very suitable for beef cattle but not as dairy cattle. However, Angus beef is not necessarily of the highest quality; USDA “choice” or “prime” classifications are a better judge of this.
- Beef Carpaccio – created by Giuseppe Cipriani of Harry’s Bar in Venice, Italy, it is made of thin beef slices drizzled with “peppery arugula, shaved parmesan cheese, extra virgin olive oil and a squeeze of lemon.” Very tasty.
- Dry Aged – when beef is hung in a refrigerated cooler for 10 to 28 days after cutting. The result is that evaporation concentrates the taste, as well as the natural enzymes within the meat dissolving the connective tissue and tenderizing it. Longer “dry aging” is generally considered better but results in shrinkage of the meat through evaporation. By contrast, see “wet aging” below.
- Kobe Beef – Kobe beef must by law come from Wagyu cattle in the Kobe prefecture of Japan. According to one source, “Kobe Beef is a legendary delicacy of Japan, a type of beef that is so well marbled that it goes right off the charts for Prime grading in any other country. The meat ends up looking like it has been left out in the snow because of the intensiveness of the white fat marbling, [and it] rivals foie gras for richness and caloric content, and costs an obscene amount, often $300 a pound or more for the real thing from Japan.” However, it is now often bred in ranches in the US or Australia and then shipped to Japan so that it qualifies as “Kobe.” If you find low-priced “Kobe” beef or ground beef in the US, it comes from the American ranches.
- Mad Cow Disease – technically known as “Bovine Spongiform Enciphalopathy,” or BSE – a disease spread by brain and spinal matter that is not heavily cooked. It was spread among UK cattle between 1986-1996 as a result of feeding diseased brain material to other cattle, causing a massive ban on beef in Britain. Basically, it’s a strange and fatal condition spread by particles called “prions” (similar to the human disease CJD) that cause a degenerative brain disease, and it is carefully guarded against in the North American cattle herds. It more or less stopped everyone in the UK from eating beef for about a 12 month period in 2001-2002. In humans, CJD causes degenerative brain functioning that leads to death or watching MTV Road Rules regularly.
- New York Steak – also known as “New York strip,” “Delmonico steak,” Kansas City steak,” “sirloin club steak” or “shell steak.” It comes from the top loin region and is basically Porterhouse minus the tenderloin and bone. It’s pretty darn tasty no matter what it’s called.
- Prime Rib – comes from the rear part of the “rib” section (more correctly known as “rib roast,” so as not to be confused with “USDA Prime”) and is often not considered in the same category as other “steaks.” Prime rib is fattier than other cuts, and is a delicacy in its own right. It is generally dry-cooked through roasting since it already has such a high juiciness and fat content. Sometimes served with au jus or with horseradish.
- Steak Tartare – steak served uncooked in a sashimi fashion. If you don’t know what sashimi is you probably shouldn’t order it.
- Wet Aged – when beef is aged in a vacuum-sealed plastic bag for up to seven days, allowing the natural enzymes to dissolve connective tissue. Similar to dry aging, but considered inferior by connoisseurs (wet-aged beef tastes more mellow, while dry-aged beef gets more “beefy” or “gamey” tastes).
Steakhouse Etiquette
When visiting a steakhouse, there are a few guidelines you should be aware of:
- A la Carte Menus – at any good steak house, expect that entrees will be a la carte. Plan to top your $25-$40 steak with $5-$15 each for asparagus, potatoes or any other meal complement.
- Appetizers – steakhouses are not about leaving with your stomach empty (or your wallet full). You will be expected to order one or more appetizers; for snob points, try to avoid anything including the words “tenders.”
- Cooking the Steaks – as mentioned previously, don’t go for anything more cooked than “medium rare.” Otherwise, you look like at best a rube and at worst some kind of – shudder – vegetarian or something.
- Nutrition and Portions – this isn’t the place to point out that a 20 oz. Porterhouse steak by itself has 1230 calories, 99 grams of fat, and about a day and a half’s worth of Weight Watcher’s points for a 175-lb. person. Pointing out that steaks are unhealthy is like saying “smoking is bad” – the people that do this already know it’s bad for them. It’s possible to eat healthily at a steakhouse – don’t eat your full portions, and get fish for your entrée – but doing so basically misses the point of going to a steakhouse. So leave your nutritional sermonizing at home.
- Steak Sauce – a good steak is supposed to be enjoyed al fresco. Sauces are for lower-quality steaks. So if you want ketchup with your steak in a good steakhouse, just save time and ask them to bring you a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. You can ask for A1 in a high-class steakhouse, but it’s tantamount to saying “I hate America. And I’m in favor of incestuous gay marriage between Communists … at Disneyland.” I’m just saying.
- Wait Staff – the traditional image (and to some extent, the appeal) of steakhouses was traditionally as a “boys’ club” where fat meats and copious booze are served in a male-dominated environment. At “old school” steakhouses, the wait staff will be all men. For example, the Palm restaurant (see below) settled with the Federal Equal Opportunity Commission in 2003 a complaint over not recruiting and hiring women servers. In recent years, more steakhouses are attempting to inject a little diversity into their staffs. However, you should be aware that your restaurant is not “top class” if your female wait staff wears belly shirts involving owls.
Great Steakhouses To Name-Drop
Not surprisingly, you’ll find many of the best steakhouses in cow-centric zones (such as Chicago and Texas) and the usual suspects for great restaurants (New York, L.A. and the Bay Area, etc.). But quality steakhouses (especially good chains) can be found all over the place. Steak purists will likely eschew chains for top local steakhouses, but you can feel comforted by the fact that these people making fun of you for liking chains will probably die of early heart attacks.
- The Big Texan Steak Ranch, Amarillo, TX – Maxim magazine notes, “If you can eat a 72-ounce steak and all the trimmings in under an hour, it's free. In 46 years only 7,000 people have done it." It’s not exactly haute couture, but, hey, it’s Texas. www.bigtexan.com
- Charlie Palmer Steakhouse, Washington D.C. – Opened in 2003 on Capitol Hill, it was picked by the Washington Post as the best steak in D.C. Guests get a eWinebook, a kind of Palm Pilot/sommelier in electronic form. Go for the steaks as much as the opportunity to rub shoulders with Washington power brokers du jour. www.charliepalmer.com
- Delmonico’s, New York City – The first Delmonico’s was opened in 1827, and is claimed by some to be the first “restaurant” in the United States (offering a menu rather than a fixed meal as was served by inns of the time). The original closed in 1926 --- largely due to the decline in popularity of steakhouses due to prohibition - but its name and location has been revived by other owners over the years, most recently in 1998, and continues to operate in one of the old locations. It is also credited with the invention of Lobster Newberg and Eggs Benedict. Delmonico’s is a New York icon, in its original incarnation frequented by the likes of Mark Twain, Lillian Russell and “Diamond Jim” Brady. There are plenty of other Delmonicos now, (including restaurants in New Orleans and Las Vegas run by Wolfgang Puck) but the New York one is the one to name-drop. www.delmonicosny.com
- Grill 23 & Bar, Boston, MA – Founded in 1983, it combines old-school steakhouse elegance with nouveau touches; Frommer’s calls it “best steakhouse in town, a wood-paneled, glass-walled place with a businesslike air." Also named one of Maxim’s “ten best steakhouses.” www.grill23.com
- Lawry’s Prime Rib, Beverly Hills, CA – Founded in Beverly Hills in 1938, and dedicated to prime rib. If you’re looking for great prime rib, many aficionados will tell you to check out Lawry’s. There are four Lawry’s restaurants in America plus one in Taipei. www.lawrysonline.com
- Morton’s (various locations) – The “old school” choice among chain steakhouses, Morton’s operates in more than 70 locations from its Chicago home to Vancouver, B.C. It doesn’t have the steakophile (look, I invented a new word) cachet that hip local steakhouses do, but it’s a pretty solid choice for more or less any fancy dinner or event. www.mortons.com
- The Palm, New York City – The Palm is a chain operating in more than 25 locations around the country, but its original restaurant (dating back to 1926) was in New York City and is still the flagship location. Its hallmark is the caricatures of local celebrities and patrons decorating the walls around the establishment. The Palm has a frequent diner’s program called the “837 Club” (named after the address of the original NYC establishment) – feel free to throw around the name even if you aren’t a member. It’s name-dropped in The West Wing, if you want to sound like a D.C. hipster. Personally, I wasn’t thrilled with the Tysons Corner Virginia (just outside of D.C.) location but my opinion may have been unfairly colored because I was taken there by gratuitously wealthy co-workers who did very little actual work and I hated them. www.thepalm.com
- The Prime Rib, Washington D.C. – A personal favorite of mine, open in Washington D.C. since 1976, although there are also locations in Baltimore and Philadelphia. A jacket and tie is required for male diners (and presumably Ellen DeGeneres), but they always keep a supply on hand in case you show up inappropriately clad. As you might guess, prime rib is the specialty – it’s the place to go to eat a great dinner and enjoy speculating about all the May-December (or February-Next April) romances among your fellow diners. www.theprimerib.com
- Ruth’s Chris Steak House (various locations) – The peculiar name comes from a woman named Ruth Fertel taking over a famed New Orleans steakhouse called “Chris’s” in 1965, then expanding it into a national chain with more than 85 locations around the United States. The restaurant’s signature is searing steaks at 1800 degrees Fahrenheit, adding an ounce of butter, and serving them on plates heated to 500 degrees Fahrenheit. Personally, I’m very fond of the Midtown NYC Ruth’s Chris – I especially love the shrimp cocktail appetizer, loaded with so much horseradish it makes the top of your head tingle. www.ruthschris.com
- Even though they’re not called out for special mention here, a number of other top steak houses are around, including chain Fleming’s (especially known for its wine selection), Sparks (the NYC steakhouse du jour and spot of mob boss Paul Castellano’s 1985 rub-out), Dakota’s (a downtown Dallas classic with a legendary fixed-price dinner between 5-6:30 p.m. weekdays) and others.
Read more in our guide to steak here!
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